


Both a Little Scared

by magicalartist



Series: Tales as Old as Time [5]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-17
Updated: 2015-01-17
Packaged: 2018-03-07 21:43:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3184193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magicalartist/pseuds/magicalartist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the unnamed emotion between Emma and Regina comes to a head.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Both a Little Scared

**Author's Note:**

> as always, read in order for the full impact. This takes place immediately after Small to Say the Least

Regina blushed furiously and Emma laughed.

“you read it?” Regina wanted her tone to be scolding, but it sounded too ashamed for that. Emma cupped Regina’s face between two warm palms, forcing her to meet Emma’s unwavering gaze. “ I did, and I forgive you for all of it.  It’s all in the past, where it belongs.”

Emma paused, her eyes now dancing with mischief, “the only part that confused me was why you would ever be jealous of Hook or Elsa… Hook is… well… Hook. A disgusting pirate who can’t take a hint. And Elsa is just a friend.” Regina’s eyebrow’s arched in disbelief and Emma continued, desperate to make Regina understand. “She is Regina, she is just really good friend, like the sister I never had. there is nothing for you to be jealous about from either of them… neither of them is you.”

“like a sister to you? So you never…” Regina trailed off, blushing.

Emma cocked her head at Regina, “ Regina, what are you asking me?”

Regina blushed again, “you don’t think of me as a really good friend, like a sister?”

Emma threw her head back and laughed, “God no. that would be strange, and weird and wrong.”

Regina looked torn between relief and being offended. Offense won out. “ so we aren’t really good friends?”

Emma gave an exasperated sigh and tipped Regina’s chin to meet Emma’s eyes again. Emma took a deep breath, knowing what she was about to say, what she was about to do, could either go really well for her, or very badly, depending on just how good she was at reading Regina. She was fairly confident she was right, given everything that had happened between them so far, but was still not sure.

Emma knelt in front of Regina’s chair, her eyes earnest as she mustered the courage to say what needed to be said.

“ Regina, besides Henry, you are the most important person in my life. I know my parents should probably be somewhere in the mix, but they aren’t. Henry is my world, you are my world. You are an amazing woman, and I am so blessed to have you as a friend. But I could never think of you as a sister… because, I feel way too much for you for that to be true. If you were like a sister to me, I wouldn’t stare at you the way I do. I wouldn’t feel this.. attraction to you like I do. If you were like a sister to me, I couldn’t be in love with you and I definitely wouldn’t  find myself constantly thinking about doing this…” Emma tugged Regina to her gently as she rose onto her knees, ever so softly pressing her lips to Regina’s, praying Regina wouldn’t reject her, praying that somehow, she had read the signals correctly.

Time froze for a moment, Emma’s lips still pressed against Regina’s waiting for Regina to return the kiss. Emma waited a beat and then released Regina when she realized she was not going to get a response. Her heart broke in that moment. She had been wrong. She misread the signals. Regina saw her as a friend, if that and now she had fucked it up again. She avoided Regina’s gaze as she pulled away, turning her back to Regina.

“ shit… shit… shit… I am sorry Regina. I shouldn’t have done that. I know it’s too much to ask, but can we forget that happened?”

She didn’t receive a response. Her heart broke even more. Near tears, she turned around and glanced at a shell shocked Regina who was still speechless. Emma could see the fear in Regina’s eyes and assumed that she had done it.

Emma knelt in front of Regina, cursing herself for her stupidity. Regina had just lost Robin and here Emma was expecting something out of Regina that she wasn’t ready to give. And perhaps she never would be. Emma would never know now, Regina would pull away from her for sure now.

“ Regina, I am so sorry. That was so wrong and selfish of me. You just lost Robin and here I am, making an ass of myself, confessing my love.”

Regina was still staring at her hands, frozen in shock. Tears slipped down her cheeks, hands trembling. Emma hated herself for what she had done. She remembered the discussion she had had a while back about Leopald and various other men who had used her. She had sworn that she would never to do that to Regina and then had done exactly that.  She was afraid to touch Regina again, afraid that her touch would be unwelcome. She didn’t want to further the damage she had done so instead she went to the door, grabbed her coat and opened the front door and fled the house, breaking into heart wrenching sobs.

She couldn’t see straight through her tears, so she drove slowly, aimlessly. Soon she found herself at the town line, staring at it, wishing she could leave.

How could she face Regina now? Her closest friend, her ally. Somehow, she had managed to fall head over heels in love with Regina, and it had made her a fool. She had forgotten everything she learned over the years. Love hurts. People betray you, hurt you, destroy you if you let them close. She had opened her heart to Regina and Regina had rejected her. it stung far more than any time before.

Every angry comment Regina had ever made came roaring back to her, every time Regina mocked her, every time Regina told her they were not friends, every rejection came roaring back. Emma cursed her stupidity in thinking things had changed. Regina tolerated her for Henry. Emma had mistaken that for something more.

Without thinking, Emma inched closer to the town line. She wondered if the curse worked for her too, if she stepped across, she would not be able to return. More than ever, she wanted to run, to flee and to leave it all behind. Regina had said she wanted them to be a family, and Emma had destroyed any chance of that happening. There was no reason for her to stay. Henry had a real mom who loved him more than life. Emma had no doubt that Henry would be loved, cared for. Regina was his best chance, and Regina’s best chance didn’t involve Emma in the way she had hoped.

Emma’s face was streaked with tears, her nose running, vision blurry. She collapsed in front of the yellow line bawling, her hurt tearing out of her throat in broken sobs. She was alone, again, and it was all her fault.

She laid on the cold concrete for a long time, unaware of her surroundings, completely lost in her pain. Finally, in a daze, she stood and inched her way closer to the line. She felt the magical barrier as she approached it, growing stronger. Since coming to terms with her magic, she could feel it’s pull in the world around her. The barrier was hostile, causing her skin to feel like thousands of needles were pricking her at once. She hissed through her teeth, welcoming the physical pain as it cleared her mind, giving her focus.

The pain brought clarity. She was leaving them behind, letting them live their lives without her as they did before. And she would return to new York, sell the apartment, and start over. she would recover, rebuild her walls and never let anyone else in again. One foot crossed the line, her body following.

A slender hand grabbed her wrist and yanked her back, pulling her directly into waiting arms.

Emma panicked at first as arms came around her, holding her in a tight, warm embrace. She started to struggle but recognized Regina’s comforting scent, and she relented, for a moment she told herself. Then she would go.

Regina didn’t speak, she barely breathed. She just held Emma in an iron grip, several paces from the yellow line. Emma buried her face in Regina’s neck, letting Regina comfort her. She didn’t know why Regina was bothering. Emma didn’t deserve comfort after what she had done to Regina. She should just let her go. Emma tried to wriggle out of Regina’s grip to tell her that but Regina clung to her even tighter.

Emma gave up and went limp in Regina’s arms, deciding to wait her out. Regina must have just wanted to say goodbye. How Regina knew Emma was leaving was beyond her, but it hardly mattered anymore. Emma had given up.

Emma was startled out of her thoughts by Regina’s broken voice, “ You told me you were in love with me, gave me true love’s kiss and then you ran...you were going to leave me, without even saying goodbye… I… I just got you back, and now you are going to leave me again?” A sob tore it’s way out of Regina’s chest, and hot tears spilled from her eyes, landing on Emma.

Emma’s brain had trouble processing what Regina had just said. _True Love’s kiss? What the hell is she talking about?_

Emma managed to free herself from Regina, tugging her further away from the line, making it clear that she wasn’t leaving, not yet.

“ Regina…” Regina was clinging to Emma’s hands desperately, as if she was afraid that if she let go for even a moment, Emma would be gone.

“ Hey, look at me…”

Brown eyes met hers, reflecting the same brokenness Emma had felt since kissing Regina.

“ What do you mean I gave you True Love’s kiss?” she hated the uncertainty in her voice, hated herself for being vulnerable, hated herself for the pain in Regina’s eyes, knowing it was her doing.

Regina didn’t answer, she paused, clearly hesitant. Emma waited, knowing she owed Regina that much at least.  The silence dragged on between them for several minutes.

Emma’s gaze dropped to the ground at her feet in shame and confusion. How could she have given Regina True Love’s kiss if Regina didn’t return her feelings? Regina had told her it only worked if both party’s loved each other.

Which meant… Regina’s lips crashed against hers suddenly. Emma started in surprise, feeling the magic released between them this time. She didn’t have time process how the kiss felt, didn’t have time to respond before Regina pulled back, watching Emma closely.

“What the hell?” her hand went to her lips, eyes searching Regina’s.

Regina shook her head, “my sentiments exactly…” Regina trailed off for a moment, but seemed to sense that she was still seconds from Emma fleeing because of misunderstanding. Regina tugged on Emma’s hands, before forcing Emma to meet her gaze, “you caught me off guard Emma. The kiss, the magic released… it was the last thing I expected. I knew you loved me… I knew I loved you, I just didn’t expect… this.”

Emma’s heart warred with her cynical mind. She was torn between wanting to flee across the town line and leave this all behind, or to pull Regina into her arms and kiss her senseless. She remained frozen in indecision until Regina decided for her. Regina kissed her again, a sweet, gentle, lingering kiss. Regina held her close, gently wrapping Emma up in her embrace, burying her face in Emma’s hair.

Emma relaxed into Regina’s embrace, deciding that she needed Regina too much to run. She couldn’t hurt Regina, she loved her too much to leave knowing what it would do to the other woman. Regina’s words sank in slowly, her own confession of love, their kisses, and Emma was ashamed of herself for fleeing, leaving Regina alone.

“God, I am so sorry Regina… I thought… I thought I was wrong about how you felt about me. I panicked, and I ran. It hurt too much, thinking about having to live in this town, knowing you didn’t feel the same, knowing that I had forced the issue so soon after Robin.”

Regina ran her fingers through Emma’s hair gently, “ I thought I loved Robin, but I never felt the way about him that I did about you. it was easy. He loved me, he found me attractive, he told me what I wanted to hear. I thought that was enough, I tried to make it enough, to forget how I felt about you. it didn’t work. It was easier than I thought it would be to let him go. I wasn’t heartbroken, not like I was tonight when I realized you had left.”

Emma pulled back, meeting Regina’s gaze. Regina gave her a lopsided smile, but it had trouble reaching her eyes, “ God Emma. When you left, my heart shredded. I knew I was going to lose you and I just…”

“Fell apart.” Emma finished for her. Regina’s eyes welled up with emotion, “ I thought I was broken before, but thinking you left, knowing you would run back to New York without me, it was too much. Losing Robin didn’t do that to me.”

Emma felt the shame start to overrun her but Regina stopped her, “ don’t. stop beating yourself up. We both have been put through the wringer from previous relationships. We are both scared, no, terrified of opening up and trusting again. we have both been burned so many times. We both run, we both wear our armor. You just told me that tonight. Even though I know I can trust you even though I know you love me, tha you would die to protect me, it takes time for those walls to come down. Just be patient Emma. Please. I love you. I couldn’t survive losing you.”

Emma let the hot tears slip down her cheeks as her heart warmed, the emotional wounds healed under Regina’s gaze. Emma met Regina’s eyes and saw clearly just how Regina felt about her. She had been so wrong when she had despaired. She knew better than anyone how frightening it was to love someone and be left alone, feeling abandoned, confused. Neal had done the same to her. she glanced back at Regina, Regina’s gaze had grown more intense, everything she felt, the full depth of her love on full display She nearly gasped, overwhelmed by how beautiful Regina looked when her walls fully came down. “ God Regina, I love you so much, I couldn’t survive losing you either.” She whispered.

Regina stepped forward, bringing their lips together again before whispering,  “ You could never lose me. My heart is yours,  it has been for a very long time Emma, since Neverland at least.”

Emma nodded into Regina’s shoulder, “and my heart is yours, has been since the trigger.”

Regina pulled back, a grin Emma had only seen once before, earlier this week in the Author’s library all over her face, “ Let’s go Home.” It occurred to Emma that they may not need the Author after all.

Emma remembered what Regina said the previous night on the couch. “ I am home Regina, you, Henry… you two are my home.”

Regina grabbed Emma, kissing her fiercely. Emma felt Regina’s magic connect with her own, linked together by the hearts beating in their chests. She felt Regina’s magic envelop her heart, wrapping it in warmth and love. She felt their magic join together, becoming one. She gasped into the kiss at the powerful sensation. She had always felt connected to Regina, but never like this.

All of Regina’s love rushed through Emma’s veins, leaving her weak in the knees. How could Regina stand feeling this much, living with this level of emotion constantly? Emma had always sensed that Regina felt things deeply, far more than most but this… this was so incredibly strong. It was no wonder Regina had built walls to keep it at bay. Emma knew if it wasn’t for Regina holding her so tightly, she would have collapsed under the weight  and depth of Regina’s love.

Emma received Regina’s love, letting it tear down her walls while strengthening her. She knew without a doubt she was wanted, needed and suddenly the past just faded. Emma felt wounds that had been in her heart for years heal, the pain disappeared as Regina’s love found the dark corners of doubt and dispelled them.

Emma accepted the connection between them, releasing her magic into Regina, letting Regina feel how Emma felt, willing her magic to do for Regina what Regina was doing for her. She focused on all the love she held in her heart for this remarkable woman and let it wash over Regina, surrounding her heart, guarding and protecting it with her magic. She could feel Regina’s heart physically respond to the contact with Emma’s magic. She could feel wounds beginning to heal, light and warmth flowing into Regina’s darkened heart. Everything they felt flowed between them as they kissed, strengthening their connection.

It was electrifying and terrifying all at once.  Their Magic swirled around them and suddenly Emma felt displaced, being torn from the town line, clinging to Regina as an anchor, still joined in a heated kiss.

They arrived in the Mifflin Manor foyer, Regina immediately pressing Emma against the door, pinning her there, deepening their kiss. Every inch of the former mayor was pressed tightly against Emma, driving her crazy. Regina’s tongue danced with hers teasing moans out of Emma. Emma returned the kiss with fervor, one hand in Regina’s hair, the other grabbing Regina’s ass, forcing them closer. Regina groaned into Emma’s mouth.

“ I want you Emma. I want you now.”

Emma groaned as Regina’s tongue slid across her teeth, teasing, begging for entrance.

“ Henry…”

“Won’t hear a thing.” Regina transported them to her bedroom, releasing Emma just long enough to cast a silencing spell.


End file.
